Maybe you can be as lucky as I am….
As much as I appreciate what the internet has done for us all, I am constantly amazed at my continued good fortune, which I would have never known about without the online community. Let me elaborate.
Like many people I know, I set up a gmail account to use as my alternative when contacting people I really don’t want sending me piles of unsolicited stuff. The gmail account is sort of the dumping ground account where spam will accumulate or bogus offers can be sent. Little did I know how such an account would open the door to all those people who were searching for me in order to simply hand me millions of dollars.
For instance, just in the last couple of days I have been contacted by a Swiss woman living in South Africa who wants to give me 10% of her father’s estate just for providing an account where she can transfer the money. Then I was contacted by Swiss lawyers telling me I am next of kin to one of their clients, recently deceased, and I should contact them to claim my inheritance.
Within another two hours, Mr. Tani Oude from the Bank of Africa, notified me that he would like to give me 18 million dollars that’s been lying unclaimed in his bank. I guess he just wants to help me out, though I have never met the man. How generous!
Then Ms. Mary-Rose, who is currently hospitalized with a spinal cord injury, decided that I would be a good person to help distribute 2.5 million dollars to help charities and individuals, particularly the motherless and widows. She’ll release the funds as soon as I contact her. Better get on that one.
Next, the United Nations Office of International Oversight seems to think I should be compensated to the tune of $550,000.00 for being a victim of Nigerian scammers. How lucky am I?
This was followed by a message from my friend, Dr. Frank Nana who is a bank manager, notifying me that he wishes to share 25% of the hidden unreported profits from his bank, with me. Can you believe this?
So today, Barrister Mohammed Zahman emailed to say that a client with the same last name as mine, who left behind 17.5 million dollars, lost all his remaining family in a tsunami in Sumatra. The money will be listed as unserviceable should he not distribute it soon, so, I’m in luck again. I wonder what the tax laws are for that kind of gift.
Also, Mr. Gamal Kassim , a wealthy merchant from Dubai, wishes to share 15 to 20% of his wealth if I will just assist him in giving the rest to charity. I can do that while assisting the widows and motherless people. It’ll be a snap.
Terry Sutton then contacted me from a bank in Scotland where he is Finance Manager. He asked me to join him in a deal to move 12 million British Pounds that some Kuwaiti corporation was over invoiced for. I would get a percentage. This one seems like a risky deal, but it’s an awful lot of money. Not that I really need it now. But maybe more for charity. I could even get a humanitarian award or something.
Finally, Mr. Stanley Brown just needs some information in order to arrange my daily Western Union transfers of $4500 per day until all of my $1.7 million dollars can be sent.
So, thank you Mr. Internet and the wonderful vehicle of email for delivering this continuous stream of good fortune and wealth. I don’t know how these wonderful people keep finding me, but I know my financial future is secure and my retirement years will be filled with wonderful opportunities.
I wish all of you similar luck.