I heard that phrase in the dialog of a movie with Natalie Portman called Planetarium. She and her sister were clairvoyants in Paris. But at some point early in the movie, her sister spoke that phrase, and it rang in my ears. It was like a light went on. You never know you were living before a war.
I realized that could be perceived in two different ways and both profound. When war comes unexpectedly, your life is suddenly changed. You didn’t expect to be under attack, without work, shelter, food, power. You didn’t know that was coming. You didn’t know you were living before this! Then, it could also mean, you don’t realize how good you have it, until you are confronted by something like war. You never know you are really living before you are thrown into a conflict you never wanted or asked for. Suddenly what is really important is your only concern.
I feel like this phrase is so applicable to what America is going through right now. We all heard the predictions. We all said, this can’t happen. We believe in the strength of our systems and the belief in The Constitution. We trusted the courts and believed in the checks and balances of our system of laws. Now America is in deep trouble. Too many ignored the signs, thought their vote wouldn’t change much. Too many turn a blind eye when another red line is crossed. There is deception happening in every department of our government that is not aimed at helping the American people, but in covering up for a system of corruption, greed, and abuse of power. The Supreme Court has been compromised, military leaders with great knowledge and understanding have been unceremoniously sent packing because they support the Constitution over a tyrant and an incompetent TV celebrity.
We, as a country, are weaker, more vulnerable, and are disrespected across the globe now. We have betrayed friendships built by presidents of both parties. We have abandoned allies and made heroes out of dictators and strongmen. The White House has been tuned into a casino styled brothel to appease the opulent tastes of a baby while he sells all manner of disgusting trashy cheap merchandise to bilk the sycophants who come to pay their tribute. He has soiled the integrity and respect of our nation with his crude behavior and hateful rhetoric.
I am afraid for our country and the cancer that grows from making people fearful of their neighbors and their police. From the lies and disinformation that are spread by hateful people bent on creating hostility. By the selfishness of those who have come to believe that everyone is out to take what is theirs. By the greed of corporations and the lack of respect for those who work to produce what America actually needs. I am afraid for America because of the growing desire among middle-aged men to create war in this country, who take pleasure in power and intimidation over others and are frothing at the bit to unleash their AR-15s and play American patriot. I am afraid for America with every small loss of some part of our freedom and personal rights as human beings. They can be lost one at a time, small things, seemingly not affecting you personally, until one does, then you realize you and people you know and love, have already lost more than you ever realized, and you can’t fix it. How quick we are to ignore the lessons of our past histories.
I applaud those who stand up to confront corruption, who stand up for the rule of law, of fairness, of due process. I applaud those who speak freely against tyranny and fascism. Who still believe in integrity and truth and responsibility. I applaud any person serving the public who refuses to bow to unlawful acts or unconstitutional demands. I thank you for your courage. I thank you for your voice. And I thank you for your belief in America and the Constitution.
I hope we all survive this war. I never expected we would be in one here on our own soil in my lifetime.
At the end of April, I finally left on a short trip I had been planning for weeks. It involved a stop to see my friends, Paul and Shino who have a ranch about 30 miles south of Gallup, NM. I met Paul at a class and we connected. His ranch is his paradise. They have 5 dogs, 5 mustang horses, and wonderful plans to create a small community.
I struck out early at about 6:30 and only got about 35 miles out of Albuquerque when I began to see numerous trucks parked alongside the highway and at exits. Then within a couple more miles I hit a dead stop wall of trucks, both lanes, as far as I could see. I got on my phone and tried to research what the traffic jam was, finding it stemmed from a train derailment outside Gallup with a large fire and possible additional tanks of fuel that could explode, so I-40 going west was closed for almost a hundred miles. I drove across the median and headed back home to Albuquerque, totally disappointed. Once home I called Paul and said, I don’t think I’m going to make it today. He responded with “rest a minute then why not come by the southern route?” This would mean adding about another 80-100 miles to the trip, but I decided that I had planned this trip for so long, perhaps I should just go. And I did. Maybe I should have paid attention to the omen.
I finally arrived at the ranch after a back and forth on the highway trying to locate their road, marked with a very small, weathered sign and some advising from Paul over the phone. We visited for a few hours. I met all the critters and road with Paul around the property in the 4-wheeler to get the overview.
My intention was to get to Gallup with some time to look around the town and maybe get some pictures, but with the additional delays over getting there, I simply chose to get a room and get some dinner. The first place I visited was full unless I wanted the King Suite at $265 a night. Seems all the EPA guys in town for the derailed train were camped there. I went next door and got a room. Pizza at Pizza Hut and called it an evening.
I rose early the next morning and hit the road to Ship Rock up near the Four Corners area. A gorgeous ancient volcanic formation that the Navajos consider a sacred place. I wanted to be there for the morning light.
After Ship Rock, my plan was to travel to Aztec, NM and visit the Aztec Ruins there. Again had a bit of trouble finding the entrance to the park, but eventually made it there. The ruins there are not as massive and sprawling as some others, but are quite beautiful in their setting and a large kiva has been rebuilt to look as it must have looked when originally built between 830 and 1120. One could feel the spirituality of the space.
From Aztec I drove south to Angel Peak Overlook. This park with its incredible expansive views, has a few campsites and picnic areas. My intention was to stay here for the night, and the following day drive to Chaco Canyon about 50 miles further south.
However, I arrived fairly early in the day and at the location of the campsite there was already one other camper there parked next to the restrooms in an older Ford Econoline camper van. I parked and walked to the edge of the fencing, looking at the view. Unfortunately, the serenity of the place was interrupted by the generator the other camper was running to provide him with electricity. Not wishing to spend the afternoon and evening listening to the incessant rattling of a generator in this remote setting, I decided to press on and get the afternoon light at Chaco Canyon and get back a day early.
I found the entrance on Highway 550 with a large sign.
The first mile or so was paved, then became a gravel road, but was fairly well maintained. This, however lasted only another couple of miles. Then the road became angry. The rest of the way into the park, about 20+ miles of it, was some of the worst dirt road I have ever traveled, rutted from tracks when the roads were wet and soft, now dry and hard, and washboard surfaces that jar your teeth loose. The whole way in I kept patting the dashboard and saying “you’re doing great baby.”
The place is beautiful, remote, and somewhat overwhelming. A beautiful park with a paved 9 mile loop through several sites of ancient ruins.
Then came the trip home. I didn’t realize when I exited the paved road of the park, that I was actually leaving by the alternate route into the park. And here, as if the road could not have gotten any worse, it did instantly. I drove about three miles out, feeling very apprehensive over the abuse my poor little van was taking. Then I heard a horrifying pop-hiss and immediately the dashboard signaled “low tire pressure”. Oh crap!. Left Front!
Now let me step back in time a bit.
About a year and a half before I moved, my lease ran out on my mini-van and it was the worst time in the world to lease or buy anything. I settled on purchasing a Ram Promaster City Wagon (Used). Funky little vehicle that gives me hauling capability and can also seat 4. My desire was for a vehicle I could sleep in while riding the backroads of the southwest. It didn’t come with the owner’s manual, so I simply found it online and used that when I had questions. It had new tires and was very clean. Never thought much about a flat tire since I had AAA and when I moved to New Mexico, knowing the distances between services, I got AAA+ that gives me 100 miles towing coverage. I had also recently purchased an auto air pump for those times when the temperature changes and you get those low tire pressure warnings. I hate using those pay-for pumps at the gas station, such a pain. The car has a spare tire under the back like many SUVs that cranks down should you need it. The problem now is, besides the owner’s manual, I didn’t receive the original package of tools for a tire change, which on this vehicle includes a jack, a lug wrench, and a handle for cranking down the spare tire.
I check my phone, no service. I am, after all, in a wilderness canyon a long way from anything. Fortunately, I have water and some food. I have my sleeping gear if I end up stuck here overnight. There were many people at the park, so I feel sure I will see some traffic eventually. The road where I was stopped was leading up a hill. I walked up to the top to see if I could get any cell service, but still nothing.
After about an hour, when one car had already passed without even looking over, a large pick up truck approached and I flagged him down to see if he, perhaps, had a jack and lug wrench. I explained my plight and Roland, a large Hispanic Park Service employee, climbed out to assist. This kind man worked for over an hour trying to help me find a way to get the spare tire out from under the car. But without the correct tools, there was simply no way. Finally we agreed that a tow was the only way out. His phone was able to get service at the top of the hill and he knew who to call. He told me even if I had been able to call AAA, they probably wouldn’t come that far out to my location. I gave Roland the $60 cash I had for all his hard work and he left.
I waited another two hours or so seeing no one and finally a car pulled up alongside and the driver asked, “are you waiting for a tow truck?” I said yes and he said’ “he’s right behind us”. So relief. But it took about another twenty minutes for him to arrive since he had to drive so slowly on the rough roads. Jim was a champ. His truck was a big flat bed and he drove the van onto the platform and secured it.
We then drove ever so slowly the 20+ miles of horrible road back out to the highway and down to the city of Grants, where he was able to drop my van at a tire shop which was walking distance to an old Rte. 66 motel. It was already about 9:30. I spent the night with no dinner and was at the tire shop when they opened at 7. A new tire. A 78 mile tow bill (which hopefully AAA will reimburse). And back home.
First order of business once I returned was finding a set of tools with a jack for my van.
I am so grateful to Roland and Jim. They were my saviors. You’re never as prepared as you think you are. Life’s an adventure.
ImageGuy 